Metamoura
by TowerMage
Summary: Severus Snape's initiation into the world of the Death Eaters and his plan to win Lily Evans back. Action, Adventure and Romance in every chapter. [Final Chapter has been uploaded! Enjoy and please Review!]
1. Chapter I: Against Nature

[Authors Note : I do not in any way own any of the characters in this story, I do not intend to make any profit off of anything written herein. I simply write for pleasure, and to get my fix on the Potterworld now that the series is over. All characters are the property of J. K. Rowling, scholastic, bloomsbury, charles levy, warner brothers and other groups affiliated with those listed previously. This story kinda touches on DH themes, so don't read on unless you've finished. I would love feedback on this story.  
Rock and Roll.

Chapter I: Against Nature

The long-haired youth approached the circle of ominous hooded figures in the clearing of the Forbidden Forest. His footsteps fell heavily upon the rough trail and his hammering heart threatened to leap from his mouth. His braced himself for the encounter to come and forced his mind shut, he sensed their eyes upon him, and felt the comforting weight of his wand in his robes. Branches danced above him like cornish pixies, albeit a silent dance, the forest itself seemed cowed by the presence of these dark men. He was, however frightened, determined to succeed. If he left this meeting alive, then hopefully, all would not yet be lost.

"Approach, Severus Snape." Said a maliciously high pitched voice. "You seek me, and have found me, now why should Lord Voldemort give you further audience?" Lord Voldemort looked into the pale face of the teenager and almost dared him to falter. Severus did not.

"Hail, My Lord." Snapes' voice carried to all of the Death Eaters present, though he spoke in less than a whisper, as he prostrated himself before Lord Voldemort. "I seek not the teachings of your legions, however much a student I may yet be, but something else instead." Severus' head was kept low to the ground and his black eyes fixed upon Lord Voldemorts' own red ones. "I desire to serve you, to give my life over to your command, and prove my usefulness to the cause."

Lord Voldemort took out his wand and gripped the bone handle with his long slender fingers. He placed the tip under the chin of Severus and brought him to his feet. Lord Voldemorts' face was twisted with a blend of disgust and glee. "Do you hear this half-blood? This impurity of indulgence, my Death Eaters? Can you hear his desperation?" Voldemorts' nostrils flared as he sneered at Severus. "Lap up his discomfort, for you know well, the Dementors would consider this boy a feast of despair!" The Death Eaters in the circle, now surrounding Severus, all laughed and hissed in his direction. "Hear him well! He does not seek my knowledge! Yet he seeks acceptance!" He himself cackled with laughter that chilled the Death Eaters into silence.

Severus stood boldly in front of Lord Voldemort and his resolution did not break as he stood before the Dark Lord. "I confess myself, impure, and ask you to allow me the honor of purifying my body with the purification only you can offer." Severus knew that this would either be the moment where he was killed or accepted as a dedicant of the Death Eaters. He dared not to breathe.

Lord Voldemort circled Severus and considered him. Voldemort moved within an inch of Severus Snapes' face and stared into Severus' eyes. "So you do declare yourself, Severus Snape, son of Eileen Prince. Before I declare you, and oh I very well may just let you keep your life, you will render unto me a service." Voldemort watched for a flicker of fear in the face and mind of the young boy, but detecting nothing, paced onwards. "Gulmere here," Voldemort indicated to a tall Death Eater, "Tells me that you enjoy dark spells, Snape, is this so?" Voldemort grinned and it did nothing to make him appear more amiable.

Severus nodded almost imperceptibly and spoke. "It is so." He felt the wands weight more heavily now. He realized that this would be his test of passage. He would need to kill someone, he feared, to gain acceptance.

Voldemort snarled. "So modest! There is no need to be humble now Snape! I've heard all about your fascination! I want to see it!" Voldemort flicked his wand and summoned, to Snapes' surprise, a black haired boy wearing muggle attire. "Perform for me, jester, and we shall see where your head will rest tonight."

The muggle boy was looking at Severus with despair etched into his acne-covered face. His eyes seemed to beg "Please, help me" while Voldemorts' were alight with almost tangible desire. Severus reached into his robes and his sweaty hand gripped his Ash wand tightly as he withdrew it. The boys eyes were drowning in fear as he realized Severus would not be saving him. The dry lips of Severus Snape parted, as he cast his darkest spell, and the words escaped. "Sectumsempra!" Snape cried out and the gash ripped the muggles' dirtied shirt. Blood flowed freely from the muggles' chest and Voldemorts' cruel laugh rang out through the forest. Severus was staring at the muggle as the Death Eaters placed an empty bottle in his hand that was glowing blue. Severus muttered under his breath in a singsong whisper as the boy was jerked into nothingness.

Lord Voldemort approached Severus Snape and placed his hands upon Snapes bony shoulders. "Welcome, Half-Blood Prince, I welcome you, as my Death Eater. Give me your arm." If the previous scream of the muggle boy was loud, it was nothing compared to the scream issued by Severus Snape, as Lord Voldemort branded him forever as one of his own.


	2. Chapter II: Son of Slytherin

Chapter II : Son of Slytherin

Severus sat at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall the morning after. Augustus Rookwood to his left, with his shiny prefect's badge, and Mulciber to his right : thoroughly slopping through his breakfast. Severus carefully glanced over to the Gryffindor table and he was bathed in a cold shower of jealousy. There he was, with his constantly ruffed up hair, and his stupidly screwed up face. James Potter.

Severus then looked over at Lily, hoping beyond hope, that she would glance over and see him; maybe smile at him even. But she did not, for the days of Lily Evans smiling at him were long gone. She did, however, like to smile and laugh at James Potter. Severus took his knife and began to fiercely chop up his morning eggs, imagining the face of James Potter within them.

Severus was about halfway through dissecting his breakfast when Mulciber jabbed him in the side and said, through a half full mouth, "Hey Snape! Would you wanna make some more practice with that spell after breakfist?" He said with bacon falling out of his mouth. "Might even be able to go over to MacDonald again, she seemed to like the practice, eh mate?" He laughed and bacon flew across the table and hit Crabbe.

Severus recalled himself to where he was and nodded curtly. "Maybe we should do so indeed." Severus thought happily of a moment where James Potter was the one they were practicing upon. He envisioned Potter being stuck with crawling insects under his skin instead of MacDonald.

Mulciber chortled and dug into more of his breakfast. "That'll be a right good time that will, eh Snape? We'll show that bleedin' mudblood what for, eh?" He laughed uncontrollably at his own comment.

Severus felt a sick stab in his stomach as Mulciber finished his sentence. Mudblood. The very word that , Severus believed, ruined his life. He ignored Mulciber and got up from the table, leaving Mulciber behind to laugh stupidly.  
As he walked sullenly out of the great hall into the open grounds Severus considered a day when Lily and himself walked together through the doors he was now exiting.

_It was their first time entering Hogwarts, and they had just arrived from their boatride, with the friendly giant close behind them. He remembers how Lily's eyes were full of fascination and fear, while his were drinking up every ounce of magic in the place, as if it were a drink long denied him as he trod through a desert. _

_"Sev," She said above the other first year's chattering, her voice full of awe and fear "Sev, we are here now, we're in Hogwarts! Do you think I'll still be Slytherin?" She asked him as her green eyes bore into his._

_He parted his black hair, which had begun to fall in front of his face, and he was carefully watching the face he knew so well. "I really think you will make it, we're alike, you and I! Aren't we?" He smiled and she did seem more at ease. That was until the ghosts arrived through the eastern wall. That was when Lily Evans jumped in surprise and her hand, for the first time ever, found Severus Snape's. He was surprised by it, and it appeared as though she was too. But despite this, she didn't immediately break off after the ghosts left._

Severus reached the edge of the Black Lake and took a seat under the great tree that offered such desirable shade from the sun. He slumped against it's cool bark and his legs folded into a crossed position. He felt the wind blowing across his face from the lake next to him. The giant squid was popping out occasionally to bask in the warmth of the sun, which seemed to make Severus feel exposed.

Severus felt his left forearm and remembered last nights' events all too clearly. He hoped that the muggle boy made it back home safely, and that his countercurse was able to take effect. It was better, he thought, that he only had to use sectumsempra – as opposed to killing him. Severus wouldn't have been prepared to do that, and then he would have been killed, and his desires would have been thrown to dust. This way at least there was still hope, no matter how little, that his ambitions could reach fruition.

He stared up at the place he knew to be Gryffindor common room, and a fresh tremor of fury swept him up. James Potter. He was the one who had been responsible for Lily disliking him. At least in part, anyway, for the reason he had called Lily that word.

"You will be the death of me Potter. Or I shall be for you." Severus swore to nobody in general as he ripped up grass. Severus shook his head violently and realized what he had just said. He didn't like these feelings he had been having the last three years. But they were in fact, rising out of him more frequently than he would have liked. He always shrugged them off as teenage angst, but somewhere inside him, he knew they were pouring out from an infected hatred implanted deeply within.

Just as quickly as the anger came, is disappeared, left to fill the void was the familiar longing he felt for Lily. He looked at the left hand which Lily had held, more often than their first night in Hogwarts, in sadness.

He got up from the tree and headed through the great hall, alone as always, and made his way to the dungeons to the Slytherin Common Room. He knocked on the brown door leading into the common room. A serpent crafted knocker on the door came to life and spoke in a slow hiss unto him.

"Severus Snape, son of Tobias Snape and Eileen Prince, half-blood born. Tell me, what would you favor most? An assurance of total power for yourself, but the death of your closest friend. Or, " It continued in a slow hiss "The death of yourself, and have your closest friend attain all you ever wanted?" The serpent knocker seemed to be considering him.

Severus looked at the knocker in distaste. "I would die, always die, to give her happiness." He looked at the serpent in it's flashing red eyes as it recoiled backwards to the safety of the wooden base.

It hissed as the door creaked open. "Some son of Slytherin, you be, Severus Snape. You insult your ancestors….proceed ye ruined man."

Severus walked past the snake, ignoring it, as he always did when he gave an answer it didn't approve of. He walked straight into his dormitory and threw himself onto his four poster and shook his head. "It must end." He said to the vacant room, and he laid down, and there he formulated what he must do.


	3. Chapter III: Under my skin

Chapter III : Under my skin

Mulciber and Avery left Slughorns' classroom on Friday afternoon with excited expressions on their faces. They pushed through the throng of students, shoving first years out of their way, and jinxing others. Mulciber looked around the crowd and Avery sighed.

"Mulciber, I've told you…" Avery stated with every sign of growing exasperation. "…Severus is still bed-ridden. He's been that way for the last week. Stop your gawking and do something useful."

Avery slung his hair back and walked with a grim expression on his long face as they marched out to the Quidditch Pitch. The Hufflepuff team could be seen practicing as they got closer to the game field.

The two teens entered the Slytherin Stands and were pleased to see a few of their fellow Slytherins present. The large and boisterous Miles Vaisey stood on the seats and called out to the Hufflepuffs in a loud voice, shaking with glee and sarcasm. "C'mon ya stupid badgers! 's that the best ye got!? Move a little slower next time Madley, I wanna see your ugly 'ittle face drop when you can't catch a pass!" He laughed out maniacally as Linda Madley, a Hufflepuff chaser, missed the pass from Marcus Zeller.

Amaline Higgs, a fourth year Slytherin, cackled viciously as Vaiseys' taunts rained upon the Hufflepuffs. Her fair face seemed ready to burst from laughter, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Meanwhile, Gregory Pritchard a sixth year, was waving his wand in the air, and produced a realistic looking badger from nothing. He flicked his wand violently and the badger plummeted to the ground.

Avery and Mulciber sat next to them and listened to Vaisey harass the team. Avery looked at Amaline with a curious expression on his face.  
"Amy," Avery started "When are we going to have us a stroll in the Forbidden Forest, eh?" He asked with tones of hope in his voice.

Amalines' piercing eyes fixed on him and her mouth opened slowly, forming a disbelieving expression, then her cruel laughter rang out over Vaisey's remarks.

Avery looked defeated as Amaline composed herself and fixed him with a gleeful look.

"Avery, we'll have us a 'romp'" She put extra emphasis on this last word "When you've got as much to offer as Sev!" Amaline said with dislike dripping in every word.

Avery muttered something about _Sev_ under his breath as the other Slytherins joined in mocking him.

Pritchard was staring down as the Hufflepuffs left the pitch. He punched Mulciber to get his attention, which was currently fixed on the castle.

"Mulciber!" Pritchard began. "Mulciber, look at me you git. I heard you finished you Crawly curse? I would very much enjoy seeing it in action." Pritchards voice rang out with enthusiasm.

Mulciber seemed excited at the prospect and nodded appreciatively. "Awright." He agreed as he got up from the stands. "Lets go, eh? Who wants to see it?"

Amaline quickly got up and looked like a child after Father Christmas had arrived. "Oh you know I would love to, can we go for some Gryffindor scum today? I think they've been a bit pompous. They need to know which house reigns in this school." She stated matter of factly.

Vaisey shook his head in a saddened way. "Got detention with Professor Mc-bore-us-all." He frowned as he ridiculed the transfiguration teacher. "I skived off last time and I don't think me hands have been the same since…honestly, she wouldn't let me leave that stupid bathroom until it was totally spotless." He cursed under his breath.

Mulciber looked over at Avery. "You gonna join us A?"

Avery shook his head. "I'm going back to the common room, gonna work on a spell of my own…" He added mysteriously as he laced up his boots.

The Slytherins set off on their own paths, Amaline, Mulciber and Pritchard setting off towards the black lake. Mulciber strode in front of them, footsteps full of purpose, and a grin on his face. He looked to the grassy areas and saw a little patch of third year Gryffindors sitting near the lake.

He took a seat under a large willow tree along with his companions. Amaline and Pritchard looked at Mulciber, clearly expecting him to do something more confrontational. He held up a finger, to forstall them, and took out his wand.  
His normally slack face now seemed more threatening as he caressed his walnut wand, which seemed made to fit in his rough hands. His lips curled into a dastardly smile as he looked over his shoulders at the Gryffindors.

He nodded finally and let out a cold laugh, totally devoid of good nature, and saturated with dark intentions. "Insectivora Infestare!" He said in just above a whisper and a jet of silver light flew from his wand and soared in the air. The light reached it's apex and hurtled towards the unsuspecting Gryffindors.

It hit a Gryffindor girl with short , dirty blonde hair, and she immediately let out a shriek. Even from the Slytherins perspective, they could see her skin rippling, as insects crawled beneath it. The Slytherins all laughed with absolute glee as the Gryffindors shrieked.

"Ooh ho Mulciber…" Pritchard spoke between broken bursts of laughter. "You…are, my effing hero! That is a brilliant curse!"

Amaline was doubled over in silent fits of giggles, she rolled on the grass and almost fell into the lake.

"Oh lookie here mates, it's about to get better, eh? It's that Evans girl! Lookit at her, runnin' towards her, like she's some hero!" Mulciber declared in glee. "Maybe I oughta do the spell to her too eh? Whatcha think? Maybe on her loser boyfriend as well?" At this point Mulciber couldn't control his laughter and it overtook him completely.

The Gryffindor girl was being consoled by Lily, as Lily was seen waving her wand in attempts to remove the curse, and the Slytherins raged all the more. James was seen looking flabbergasted behind Lily.

Nobody saw Severus Snape approaching the Slytherins, he was walking softly towards them, his wand out of his robes. He raised it in one fluid motion and a white arc swept through the air and the Gryffindor girls' cries were silenced as her skin returned to normal. Lily looked up to see who had done it, and her gaze settled upon Severus, who was smiling awkwardly.

The Slytherins simply thought the curse had worn off and were none the wiser to Severus even being there.

Lily Evans lips pressed together tightly, and she got up in a hurry, gripped James' hand and walked away to the castle. The Slytherins calmed down and only then did they notice Severus' appearance.

"Feelin' better Severus? Ya missed a great show ye did! Mulciber got his insect curse to work! Used it on some mudblood he did!" Pritchard said full of excitement.

Severus only needed a second to react after Pritchard finished speaking. His hand was clenched in a fist, and similar to not seeing him approach, nobody saw his fist as it dove into Pritchards' jubilant face. A cracking noise was heard, and Pritchard howled in pain. Amaline and Mulciber looked at Snape like he had gone mad.

"What the ruddy blazes did you do that for!?" Pritchard howled as he felt his jaw, rubbing it and opening his mouth oddly.

Amaline looked truly disturbed at this blatant show of anger. "Sev…" She spoke with respect and compassion to Severus, something she had never done for anyone else. "Sev, what's wrong?" She raised herself so that she was level with Severus.

Severus' face was set in a fury and his eyes were nothing more than slits as his lips curled in disgust. Amaline reached out her hand and tried to part the curtains of black hair blocking one of his eyes. He grabbed her wrist as she attempted to touch him and he flung her hand back towards her.

His voice was colder than ice and it rung out with dislike. "I have told you NEVER to call me that name! Pritchard, you deserved what you got for not inviting me to this ,…happy….event! You know how hard I worked on this spell , I wanted to see it. Next time, do-not-forget-me!" He said these last four words louder than any others.

Amaline looked stunned, Pritchard was looking afraid of a second hit, and Mulciber stared stupidly at Severus.

Snape turned on one heel and marched off towards the other end of the lake and left them alone. Mulciber seemed to come to himself and shouted out "Will ye be comin' to dinner Snape?"

Snape threw both of his hands in the air in frustration, as if attempting to fly away, as he put distance between himself and the Slytherins.

"Hmm…" Said Mulciber. "Guess he's still a bit off then, eh?"

Amaline and Pritchard shook their heads in disbelief and together they all made their way back to the castle, eagerly discussing what had gotten into Severus.


	4. Chapter IV: A New Shade of White

Chapter IV: A New Shade of White

Severus was pleased. Not only had his countercurse worked, but most importantly, Lily had seen him do it. He knew it wouldn't be enough to convince her totally of his conversion, but it was a good start. Plus, there was always the more definite proof that would come later. He walked through the castle and up to the fourth floor, where his second home, the library, was waiting.

He entered and snuck past Madame Pince, not wanting to speak to the eccentric woman, and grabbed a book off a nearby shelf. He retreated to his usual table in the corner of the library and opened the book. He was reading up on Jobberknoll feathers in memory potions and was convinced that it would be helpful. Both in his upcoming NEWT, and possibly, elsewhere…

As he browsed the pages of this tome his attention occasionally drifted about. It was during one of these spells that a certain hawk came to land on a windowsill that looked in on Severus. It's beak pecked the window yet didn't draw Severus' attention- It did however gain the attention and wrath of Madame Pince. She quickly tweaked Severus' long nose and that brought him out of his reverie.

She looked furious as his gaze fell to hers. "Well?" She snapped, "Will you be getting that thing or will you continue to disturb my silence?" Pince stood there, tapping her foot on the hard floor. Severus considered pointing out the fact that her tapping was louder than the hawks, but didn't want to be tossed out just yet.

Severus bit his tongue and opened the window, allowing the hawk to settle down upon his table. It stuck it's leg out obediently and allowed Severus to detatch the letter. After successfully removing the letter the hawk turned and flapped off, apparently anxious to get away from the harsh stare of Madame Pince.

He removed the wax seal and Madame Pince snuffed impatiently and then stomped off towards her desk – once again making more noise than he ever did. The hawk, he knew, belonged to Lucius Malfoy; and Severus was most anxious to read what he had written. The thick papyrus quickly unrolled about the length of six inches and was written in a glimmering red ink. Always the case with Lucius, Severus thought fondly, be dramatic.

"Severus," It read "A most wonderful tale has reached my ears…I confess myself most proud. It is unfortunate I was not there, but the Ministry required my presence. As to your question from earlier, I would answer yes. A possession by means of the imperius curse is ideally the same as corporeal possession. The victim would also, in fact, be able to modify their own memories. However, it seems much easier to simply imperius them…I'm sure you perform this…I taught you personally. I wonder why you would ask this? What plans do you have in store, my devious friend? I shall keep this short, we will meet again in three weeks as planned, unless I hear otherwise. –Lucius"

Severus finished reading the parchment and his face was transformed into a look of comprehension, which quickly morphed into glee. He took out his wand and tapped the parchement. "Incendio!" He whispered and the parchment burst into flames and was then nothing more. He opened the window to disperse the smell and then gathered his things.

As he left the library he considered what his friend had told him in the letter.

His thoughts were all mixing together, the components of a great idea brewing, and he trod off to the potion masters quarters. Slughorn would be a great asset right now, he would be able to give him the last bit of information. Once he had that, his plan would truly begin. If his fellow Slytherins were curious about his behavior from today, they would be cursed to insanity by his next plot.

"Lily, you will again be mine, and all you ever thought, will be proven incorrect." His cracked lips burst forth into a radiant smile as he swept downwards, to the dungeons, his feet barely touching the floor.

He reached the wide door and knocked upon it, behind it came sounds of song, and he then heard Slughorn moving hurriedly. Severus listened as the lock came undone on the other side and beheld the door as it came open.

Slughorns' enormous stomach proceeded him and his face lit up as his entire body finally made it's way to the entrance. "Why, Severus, what a pleasant surprise m'boy."

Slughorn spoke in his genial tones and opened his arms in greeting. "Why don't you come in?"

Severus nodded curtly and navigated the room with the experience of one who had done such many times before. He sat swiftly on a large cushioned chair and waited for the Potions' Master to join him.

Slughorns room smelled as it always did, fruity smells filled the air and there was no shortage of tasty treats. Slughorn motioned to a bottle of Elder Mead and Severus understood he was to pour them some. He removed the stopper and poured the shining blue liquid into two goblets, one of which he handed to Slughorn.

Slughorn slumped into a chair that bore his weight reasonably well, although it was beginning to express some disdain in holding his weight.

"Now then," Slughorn drank, "What brings you to me this day Severus? I thought you would be down near the lake? Sitting at the tree you favor so much?" Slughorns mustache twitched merrily.

Severus took a small sip of his mead and placed it upon a white doily. "Sir," Severus spoke quietly. "I was wondering if I could ask you something?"

Slughorn turned a lighter shade of peach for all of a moment and then recomposed himself. "Yes. Of course…What is your question?"

"I was curious, about the effects of Amortentia, when mixed with sneezewort and scurvy-grass." Severus picked up the goblet again and monitored his teachers reaction carefully.

Slughorn looked distressed and perplexed at the same time. He took a few gulps of his mead before he even cleared his throat. "Mmm..hrm…" Slughorn considered the question. "Scurvy Grass and Sneezewort, when mixed with Amortentia, correct?"

Severus nodded.

"Well," Slughorn cleared his throat yet again and adjusted his top most button of his velvet jacket. "The effects of those two components are quite unusual when mixed with something _that_ powerful. From the point of view of a scholar, I would daresay, that it would create total enthrallment and captivation, while eradicating all other memories of previous admiration. Then the sneezewort would create ambiguous feelings regarding many other aspects of the drinkers life. It is a curious proposition indeed Severus. Tell me, are you planning on turning this in as a project? If so, I can hardly wait to see it!" Slughorn roared jovially.

"Severus,…" Slughorn pressed on when Severus didn't reply. "Severus, are you feeling well m'boy?"

For Severus had turned a pale white that was extraordinary even for him. His goblet lay forgotten to his side and his face was slack. His eyes stared towards Slughorn, yet they focused on nothing, they were simply blank. He finally stood and expressed his thanks, and quickly left the room.

The door closed and echoed around Severus as he walked towards the Slytherin common room. As he walked onwards his mind was catching up with his ears, and a sick feeling came upon him.

"It can be done…" He said, without concern of being heard. He slipped into the Slytherin room as a second year exited. He walked away to his own room, his head swirling in thought, and his body shaking with excitement.


	5. Chapter V: A cherry for Severus

Chapter V: A cherry for Severus

Severus spent the next few days waiting for the new flyers to be posted in the common rooms. He was eagerly awaiting a new Hogsmeade trip and was getting impatient. Finally, two weeks before the holidays exams were scheduled to occur, relief came in the form of a notice. The next weekend was this Saturday. He had two days to put his plan into motion.

He ascended the stairs from his common room and reached the Great Hall, where breakfast was being served. He quickly scanned the tables and quickly noticed Lily sitting down with James. Severus felt a sweat break over his forehead and he quickly set off to the Gryffindor tables. His presence was greeted with raised brows and frowns from some Gryffindors, all the same , he pressed on.

He spotted Lily and grasped his wand tightly, his mind focused on the coming spell. Closer he came to Lily & James, he carefully hid most of his wand up his black sleeves.

Severus performed the non-verbal spell and it successfully fell upon Lily- a barely noticeable white glimmer was wrapping around Lilys' fiery red locks of hair.

He smiled as she took up her gobletful of juice, but his smile fell just as quickly as his body. Severus felt his body lock up and he fell face first to the ground. He felt the cold floor as it crushed his nose under his weight.

Severus saw James and Lily's feet swivel around as his fall sounded. Severus heard a coarse laugh come from behind and he groaned in annoyance.

"Well look here Prongs, ole Snivvely dropped by to say hello." Sirius Black said while clapping his hands in excitement.

A squeaky voice came from somewhere behind Severus, "I saw him James! Coming up behind you! Sirius just beat me to him! Or I would have…" Spoke the little man that was Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius interrupted him and spoke jovially "…Turned his greasy hair yellow, Wormtail? I told you, do not perform such _advanced_ magic without studious practice!" Sirius laughed again.

Severus was stinging with embarrassment as Pettigrew muttered about not being valued. He heard James say "Relashio" and Severus got to his feet.

He first noticed Lily once he had righted himself. Her face seemed to empower him ; the eyes- always the eyes, and her perfectly curved nose, right to her light pink lips.She whispered in James' ear and Severus' heart trembled as she left the area.

He hadn't planned on that, but he couldn't stop now.

"So Snivelpuss," James spoke harshly once Lily had left. "I know you'll never give up but my answer is still no. I'm not going to let you use my shampoo, clean up on your own."

Severus kept his cool while Pettigrew, Black and Potter laughed at his expense. Severus made a clear show of putting his wand away and then stepped closer and closer to James.

The laughing ceased abruptly and Black stepped closer to James. _'Always the two of them,'_ Severus pondered as a smile played across his face. _'This will work wonderfully' _He thought.

Pettigrew hunkered back a few feet and slunk into a sitting position at the Gryffindor table.

Severus gazed upon the face he had grown to hate over time. He saw the black stubble on Potters' chin, the high cheek bones , those damnable eyes that emanated dislike. His lips pressed together as his arms fell across his broad chest.

"Potter…" Severus spoke, using considerable amounts of control, as James stared on. "For seven years I have tolerated you. Never have I made an attempt to provoke you. And I've realized, if I leave this school and never get the chance to see what you're really made of…Well…I just wouldn't be able to sleep at night." Severus placed his hand boldly on James' shoulder. Sirius looked taken aback and James simply sneered. Severus nodded and gave a slight 'hmm' noise. He then slapped James' cheek.

James, infuriated, lunged at Severus, but was too slow. Severus had jumped out of his grasp just as James hands latched onto nothingness.

"Snivvly! You're mine you pathetic bigot!" James exclaimed as he reached his hands out to Severus.

"No, Potter." Spoke Severus calmly. "Hogsmeade is this weekend. I extend to you, a wizards duel, to settle this argument on who is the more talented wizard. Be at the Shrieking Shack…" Severus spoke in cold tones now. "You may _well_ remember it. Meet me there midday with your second. No one else needs to know. Should you win, I'll confess openly to your superiority."

James looked at Severus with an incredulous expression on his face. Sirius laughed and patted James on the back loudly.

"Of course he'll be there you git! Prepare to dangle by your dainties Snivvelpuss!" Black goaded as Severus stared at him intently. James seemed to find himself and nodded profoundly.

Severus's eyes narrowed to slits, and he betrayed a smile. "See. You. There." He spoke with emphasis on every word. He turned on his heel and went to the entrance hall heading towards the grounds.

He opened the doors leading outside and Severus felt a wonderful breeze caress his exposed skin. It was not yet winter, but it was close, _'My last winter here…"_ He thought sadly.

He took quick steps towards the gates with the winged boars, all the while reaching in his robes for his wand. Finding it, he tapped his own head and felt a cold sensation flowing over him- making him invisible.

The wrought iron gates towered in front of him and he tapped the locks.

"Alohamora!" He shouted, but it did nothing. "I should have known better." He thought to himself. He shrugged and aimed his wand at his own feet and thought _'Levicorpus!'. _He rose swiftly into the air and was flung over the gates.

He landed roughly over the gates and shook himself free of dirt and leaves. Finally free of castle protections he turned on the spot, and felt himself forced through nothingness, he disappirated.

He appeared a second later on a familiar street that was littered with muggle cars and decorations of coming holidays. He didn't remove the disillusionment charm until he had reached a nearby forest. He removed his robes and donned muggle-attire. _'These clothes always feel so wrong"_ He thought as he put them on. He left his robes near the base of a familiar tree and lef the forest.

He walked slowly down the street wehre he and Lily Evans had so often played. He hadn't been to this part of town for two long years, though his mothers home was only a few minutes away.

He passed a stretch of open lot and memories swam through his mind. He saw a younger version of himself crouching behind a tall oak tree, carefully sneaking up on his playmate. He leapt from the shelter of the tree as Lily came close, he heard her excited squeals of surprise. Leaves were falling from the tree, a rainstorm of colors appeared, as they played in the leaves. The smell of fall seemed so strong to Severus as he came back to the present.

He came closer to the end of the street now, he even saw Lily's home. He looked in her backyard that had hosted so many games and long talks. The wind blew and rustled up leaves that had been resting under a tree swing.

His mind fell back to three years ago…He remembered how Lily had smelled of strawberries that day before they went back to Hogwarts. Her hair was almost floating in the wind as the swing moved back and forth.

It was one of the last days of August and the two were spending their days being excited as ever, about returning to Hogwarts.

"I remember McGonagall told us we would be transfiguring some much larger creatures this year." Lily spoke to him.

"Oh yeah, but I want to get back to Flitwick's class myself! Charms for fourth years are supposed to be great fun! And we'll have it together again!" Severus spoke happily.

"There's also the Yule Ball to look forward to." Lily said, her eyes alight with anticipation.

"Yeah," Severus said, his mind racing with possibilities.

"Bet I know who you're going to take Sev!" Said Lily playfully.

"Oh Yeah?" He spoke, nervously, hoping his admiration didn't show too much.

"Yeah, it's just a shame they don't allow first years to come. Otherwise Amaline Higgs would be great for you!"

Severus looked up at her, unbelieving his ears, until he saw her beautiful smile crossing her face. He laughed and pushed her playfully.

"Oh come on now Sev, you've known me for years now, ya can't just hide your feelings from me." She said, placing her hand around his shoulders.

"I would take you, if you would have me Lily."

Her face froze and she scanned his face, and he conveyed sincerity as he met her eyes.

"Why, well, yeah Sev. I'd always go with you." Lily said, reaching her hand now, and placing it on his.

"Lily." He spoke seriously. "It's just that though."

She furrowed her brow and he continued.

"I have hid my feelings for you. But I can't do it anymore Lil." He clasped both his hands on hers and stared into the green pools that he loved so much.

Their lips met and no spell created generated as much power as their first kiss. The world fell away and all that remained were the two of them. One soul divided into two bodies, joined in one glorious moment of righteousness.

Severus heard a voice from a girl, which promptly brought him out of his memories. Back to the world where Lily Evans and Severus Snape no longer dated. Where Severus Snape didn't exist for Lily Evans.

He turned and saw the very girl he had hoped on seeing. Her brown hair, so unlike her sisters, was done up with braids. Her pink flowery dress flowing in the cool breeze.

"Just what are you doing here, Snape?" Petunia Evans asked with her hands on both her hips.

"Petunia," He began, extending his arms in a show of peace. " I come to you for advice." He held his head up, no matter how much he wanted to drop it.

"Me!?" She laughed derisively. "What would a ..a…" She acted like she was having trouble chewing. "…Muggle…like me, possibly be able to do to help you?"

"You can give me truth!" He cried desperately as he fell down to his knees. Her eyes dropped to his submissive form and was clearly surprised. She motioned quickly for him to get up.

"Honestly!" She huffed. "What would my parents think if they saw us like that?"

He arose and felt ashamed of himself. "Please, Petunia. I haven't much time. How often is…" He struggled. "James Potter, coming over during the holidays?"

She looked confused and Severus could barely contain his eagerness for her response.

"Well…what does that matter?" She said and made a 'tch' noise. "He's a prat."

"Please Petunia." He begged and his mind throbbed with the effort of it.

"Okay…" She seemed frightened. "He is over every day usually. Amusing my parents and impressing them with his boasts. Always laughing and making an arse of me!" Her cheeks reddened now and she looked upset.

"Petunia," Snape said compassionately. " I need you to help me during the holiday break. Would you be willing to help me if it meant getting rid of Potter? Not in an illegal way!" He added quickly, noticing her face as it drained of color.

She didn't answer him right away and he considered pleading, no matter how dishonorable it would be.

"Petunia," He stepped closer , she didn't back away. "He is ruining her. I know you still care for her on some level. Please, help me bring her back!"

Petunia Evans looked at her feet and didn't answer for several miserable minutes, during which, Severus knew to remain silent. At last she put her hand on his shoulder and nodded.

"I don't like him…that boy…Potter." She said. "I don't like you Snape. But you are the best match for Lily, Severus. I will help you."

Severus almost hugged Petunia, but felt it would be too much for her. It was incredible enough that she had agreed.

_'Everything is ready now!'´_ He thought after he explained to Petunia what she must do. He put his robes back on and then quickly returned to Hogwarts. He raced inside the castle and rushed to the common room and knocked on the door.

The serpent knocker hissed in greeting and its' ruby eyes glittered in the light of the torches.

"Severus Snape, son of a muggle man, and bloodline of Prince. Tell me truth. The wise wizard at the top of the world; if it were you. Would you kill those who opposed you? Or would you charm them with your talents?" The snake writhed around, its' tongue flitting outwards.

Severus removed his wand and spoke calmly. "Langlock." The snakes mouth snapped shut and it's eyes grew wide in surprise.

"Bugger for your propaganda, you vile wretch. Open the damn door or I'll melt you to nothingness." Severus spoke, with growing desire that the snake would disobey.

However, the snake quickly obliged and Severus removed the jinx and stepped in the door, eager to get some rest. He heard the snake scolding him even after the door had closed.

He walked into the cool of the green dormitories, and sat on his bed as he reflected over the days events. He heard a knock on his door and Amaline Higgs entered the room. Severus was surprised as she sat down beside him.

"Sev,…" She began, her voice timid, obviously worried about him. He held up a hand to forestall her, suddenly inspired by a great idea.

"Amy." Severus spoke and he looked into her hazel eyes. He laid his hand on hers and leaned in close to her. "Come with me to Hogsmeade Saturday. We'll have some fun with…"

Amalines face drained of color, so similar to Petunias had earlier, and she cried out with glee. "Oh Severus! Yes! I'll go with you!"

Before Severus could explain further, Amaline closed the gap between then and had then skipped from the room merrily. She could be heard from far away, shouting with joy, "Severus asked me out! He finally asked me out!"

Severus had a few seconds left of peace before he was surrounded by Slytherin boys. His expression frozen in disbelief, his mouth frozen in an O shape, rendered that way by Amalines' kiss.

Mulciber, Pritchard and Avery were swarming over him, demanding answers. His thoughts raced _'How could I have done that! Why didn't I phrase that better!?'_ He thought, angry at himself. He saw that his carefully laid out plan had been thrown dangerously off course. He just shook his head in disbelief until the other boys finally grew tired of it and left him alone…left him with his thoughts…left him with cherry flavoring on his lips….and a damned feeling in his stomach.

[A/N: So I hope this chapter was able to amuse you, as well as portray Lily & Severus' early friendships. I'd love reviews on this chapter especially, letting me know why you liked it, or why you did not. It will help with the next few chapters. Thanks for all the reviews so far, you guys are very encouraging!


	6. Chapter VI: Hello Metamoura

Chapter VI: Hello Metamoura

Severus looked ill the next morning as he sat at the Slytherin table. _'It would have been easy to wipe her memory clean. Soooo easy to start over.' _He thought miserably as he chewed his breakfast. _'So easy to fix it…to re-word my proposal…no...don't use that word…my … invitation. But it was that _kiss_. I was actually caught off guard, … me!"_ He sipped on his pumpkin juice without really tasting it. _"But now the whole damn school knows!"_ He put his silverware down and hid behind his long bangs as he thought of what to do.

He heard Mulciber speaking uselessly and heard Amaline discussing their weekend plans. He felt the coming drafts as owls swooped around overhead. He also sensed the other tables watching him.

_But she blathered to the whole school…' _He dropped his head and heard Amaline laugh as his bangs dropped into his half eaten breakfast. He felt his head tingle as Amaline said "Tergeo." And his hair was freed of food.

He saw his Dark Mark in his mind and almost laughed. "I'm getting what I deserve." He said out loud in frustration.

"What did you say Sev?" Amaline said, resting her head on his shoulder. Mulciber guffawed and started choking, which made Severus smile behind his bangs.

"I said." He declared, putting emphasis on each word as he drummed his fingers on the table. "I hope there is dessert." He invented, feeling clever. Severus felt Amaline move then and he parted the curtains of black hair. He raised his head as he saw her hand approaching his mouth holding a cherry tart.

He took it, slowly, and inserted it in his mouth- chewing more violently than necessary. Severus nodded finally and made to arise from his seat, finally coming to a decision. Amaline rose with him and he did not object.

He ran his hand down her plait of blonde hair and kept a few loose strands, placing them carefully in his side pocket. Together they walked to the open grounds where they eventually found a good patch of open shade under the Astronomy Tower.

It was there, Severus decided, that she would be included in on some of Saturdays' events.

"Amy." He spoke kindly and hesitantly. She was rapt with attention, which pleased him. "On Saturday, I'm glad you agreed to come with me."

She smiled and nodded enthusiastically. " I am honoured Severus."

He disregarded this last and continued. " I feel like you should know, though. There is one thing I feel we must do together." He grasped her hand and kissed it lightly.

She whimpered and nodded. "Anything! I'm yours."

He smiled and thought a spiteful idea. _'For a Slytherin, she sure is easily bendable._' He shook his head as he thought that last – perverse ideas of her bending capabilities were not something he should dwell upon, he felt.

"Really?" He didn't really care for her reply, that wasn't the point of his question.

She nodded vigorously, he smiled, which lit up his entire face.

"James Potter and Sirius Black. Your thoughts on them, Amy?"  
Her face contorted and she nearly spat out her reply. "They can contract spattergroit for all I care. What's the plan?"

Severus was impressed by her ferocity. Her eyes were blazing with fury and he quickly saw the Slytherin competitiveness awaken in her.

"They challenged me to a duel on Saturday. I need you to help me on a few spells. I've heard you can cast spells to rival fully qualified wizards… or at least that is what your Uncle Gulmere was telling me…"

He drew out the last word and awaited her answer.

"You know my uncle?" She blushed. "Well of course you do, you just did mention him." She bit her lower lip and her eyes searched his face. "Why don't I do more than help you with spells…let me be your second!" She seemed most excited by this.

Severus carefully hid his joy, his manipulation had played out perfectly- he never even needed to ask her. The flattery was beautifully laid out and he admired his own cunning.

"Amaline! You're so exceptional!" He exclaimed as she turned a deeper shade of red.

"Not as much as you are."

He nearly gagged.

"Amy, here is what will happen. We'll get to the Shrieking Shack at midday. It is there that we shall duel those two."

Her face blanched and he pressed his hand to her face. " Do not worry." He consoled her. "There are no ghosts to worry about." She did not seem concerned any longer, but that could have just been the adoration.

He walked her to her first class, Arithmancy, and he went off to potions.

He took his lonely seat near the back of the room. The smells of boiling doxy eggs and comfrey roots still hung on the air from the last class.

He took out his set of scales and components. His silver scales clanked as he set them on the table next to his worn copy of 1000 Magical Herbs and Fungi and his tattered copy of Advanced Potion making by Libatius Borage. He hoped Slughorn wasn't doing anything too detailed today; for he would not be paying too much attention. Severus had other potions to brew.

He withdrew his wand and muttered "Muffliato" all around. So far nobody else was in the room. By the time the other NEWT students came in had already added the final ingredients for his long awaited Amortentia potion. He had worked on it for the last few lessons. He was pleased to smell strawberry scents; so associated with Lily. He also smelled hot cauldrons, and old books. The shimmering liquid was swirling, ready to be improved. Nobody paid him much attention as Slughorn began to lecture. He did, however, glance up as the dungeon door opened, and Lily walked in, flushed and out of breath.

"So sorry Professor, my bag broke on the way over from Professor Flitwicks." She quickly sat down at the empty front desk on the far right of the room. She always moved so gracefully, like a doe, represented beautifully in her Patronus.

Slughorn laughed and waved her off. " 'S fine dear Lily! Always the studious one you are. Have a seat! Have a seat!"

Severus reminisced on how he and Lily would share the table where she was now sitting, he then returned to his work.

He sprinkled the crushed yellow Sneezewort into the potion and it sizzled slightly. He withdrew a bunch of Scurvygrass and dropped it into the now grey potion. Nothing had gone wrong yet; and that was a relief to Severus. Meanwhile, Slughorn went on and on about the benefits of mixing Gillyweed with Mushroom Shavings.

Severus glanced furtively around the room, admired Lily for a moment, and then withdrew the strands of Amalines' hair. He put half the strands in the potion, careful not to use them all, and waited for the predicted reaction.

Slowly the potion bubbled and turned to gold, as the fire under his cauldron heated the new potion. He removed it from the cauldron a minute or so later and poured it into a free vial.

He opened his copy of Advanced Potion Making and opened it to the page on Amortentia. He recorded the final results on his heavily annotated page. He also withdrew a vial of the Draught of Clarity.

He gazed at the potion, somewhat nervous, as he removed the stopper. _'Just a sip'_ He thought as he tipped back the vial and let the drops of cherry flavored potion flow across his tongue. He re-stopped the vial and waited a few seconds and then everything occurred very quickly.

It was as if he never knew Lily Evans. _'Why should I care for that girl!? I have Amaline Higgs! Such a voracious, desirable soul! I'll have her as mine!'_ He felt himself tremble as he began to sweat. _'She is mine…now and…'_ His eyes slid out of focus and he had to shake his head. He took a long sip of the Draught of Clarity and he felt his mind become less cluttered.

He wore a smile as he wrote 'Success' on the Amortentia page of his book. His plan was nearly ready and he wanted to leap up and put it into action this very moment.

"Patience." He told himself and cleaned up his components. He took out a label and placed it around the vial of now golden potion. He withdrew a quill and wrote his new name for this powerful potion. His smile increased in width as he wrote _Meta_ "To change…" _moura _"…love." He smiled wickedly and his eyes lit up with excitement.

"Hello Metamoura." He whispered lovingly as he tucked it into his potion kit. _'The difficult part is almost over._' He dreamed on and eventually he listened to Slughorn, only after visualizing his victory over Potter and Black.

"Lily, you will soon be mine." He vowed to himself and spent the rest of the class watching her as she worked.

The class came to an end soon enough and Severus was the last to leave the room. As he left, Slughorn wished him a happy weekend. "Be sure to take the brilliant Miss Higgs to Madame Puddifoots 'm boy! She'll adore you forever!" Slughorn laughed.

Severus nodded. "Don't you worry, Sir. Her adoration is unquestionable." Severus said slyly and he took his leave. He felt at ease as he went off to his study period, where he practiced his coming attacks on Potter.


	7. Chapter VII: Dreams Within Reach

Chapter VII: Dreams Within Reach

The leaves whipped and stirred through the silent valley of the English countryside. Rays of tainted yellow sunlight flooded the village of Hogsmeade and wind whistled through mountains. The sound of children's laughter had yet to fill the streets with song. The cobblestone pathways were silent and a stray rat lingered at a garbage can near the Hogs Head Pub. Sniffing the air, longing to detect a morsel of sustenance, it clawed at it's face in frustration. A door opened nearby and a hunched over woman tossed out a pail of water, which flowed down a lonely alley, and scared the rat as the flood approached him. He scurried off and sought the shelter of an overturned crate.

As the sun grew braver, and crept further from behind the mountains, the chill began to retreat. Shadows scattered in fear as the light of the sun gave them chase. Slowly, sugary smells from Honeydukes escaped into the streets, sure to attract whomever may tread these streets today. The rat smelling the intoxicating treats issuing from Honeydukes, dared move from his crate, to better investigate and procure himself a breakfast. Onward he scurried, his long claws tapping along the cobblestone streets, his long tan tail dragging along behind him.

The smell was overpowering now, the rat was close to the store now, how it's nose rose as he came to the front door. A massive barricade of brown wood blocked him from progressing further. His ears perked up and he his stomach cried out impatiently. He tilted his head and gazed up at the ledge jutting out near the barricade- a window! The rat approached the cold wall of stone and looked for a way to climb it's heights.

The rat grabbed on the wall and scaled it, danger and death waiting not far behind him, fate was whispering in his ear- daring him to falter. The rat scurried faster up the wall and his snout touched the wooden ledge first, removing one paw from the wall, the rat reached out to grab on and lift himself. So close was he. One paw was up, then the next, there came his entire body, at last his turmoil was over and he came to rest on the ledge – out of breath.

But he was victorious, after his careful scaling of that deathly wall, he came to rest just near an open window. From that window came wafts of wonderful smelling food – How his stomach rumbled! His began to drool in anticipation as he started to walk into the shop, prepared to steal his breakfast- then have a well deserved nap.

He stopped and raised his head and stood on two legs, as if proud of achieving this feat, as he was about to enter the opened window.

The hawk swooped down from above and had reached the defiant rat as he declared his independence. The hawks strong talons wrapped around the rat, almost crushing his ribs, as the rat cried out in surprise. The rat squirmed, writhed and bit in resistance. He slapped his tail violently and hit the hawk on his underside, fighting for all he was worth. The rat then bit down with his sharp teeth, and he buried them deeply in the rough skin of the hawks foot that was holding him. The hawk shrieked out and it released it's grip of the rat involountarily.

The rat squeaked in triumph as he felt himself able to breathe again, the wind rushing over him and messing his fur. The rat had yet to realize just how far up he was, how far he had yet to fall, and how little time he had left to live. It turned it's furry head and squeaked in terror as the ground came ever closer. All he wanted was a tasty treat. Such was the last thought the rat ever had, he had been so close.

[A/N This was simply my prologue to the next chapter. It is setting the scene for Saturday morning, where in this same village – Severus Snape & Amaline Higgs, will duel with James Potter and his second. I wanted to do a good description scene- the next chapter is coming along nicely, it'll be up within the next few hours. -TowerMage


	8. Chapter VIII: This is my gift

Chapter VIII: This is my gift.

_'By nightfall, Lily will be mine, or Potter will have won.' _Severus thought to himself as he dressed Saturday morning. He combed his black hair and stared into a mirror.

"And if you fail?" Severus said aloud, preparing for battle. He turned his head from one extreme to the other, and heard his neck pop, and he smiled appreciatively.

_'I will carry years of happy memories with me. Should she choose…' _He breathed deeply. _'…Potter, then I shall surrender my joy and let Lily have hers.'_

He flicked a bit of dust off his velvet robes and smoothed back his eyebrows. "And what of _your_ love? What of that?" He spoke.

His face was bathed in light as the sunshine poured through the washroom window.

_'True love survives death, and carries on into eternity._' He nodded resolutely and turned to leave the washroom.

Severus entered the common room where a handful of Slytherin boys were huddled , trading Chocolate Frog cards. Severus took time to actually look around the common room for the first time in years.

The Slytherin Common Room contained memorabilia and trinkets that reflected Salazaar Slytherins ideals. He strolled over to the blazing fireplace and let the heat warm him. His eyes fell upon the gold framed painting of Salazaar Slytherin. He was a haughty looking man, Severus thought, and he wore lavish robes- jewel encrusted cuffs and shining black boots. His hands rested upon an ornate staff, around which, a boa was wrapped. The backdrop was of Hogwarts, yet it was painted with dark colours.

The painting inspired pride in many Slytherins, he had been one in whom it used to inspire that feeling. But now, it issued nothing but disgust and guilt in Severus.

_'Salazaar was a cruel man.'_ Severus reflected as he gazed upon the painting. He had not looked at this painting for nearly two years.There were times, years ago, that this painting inspired him. His houses' founding father made him feel part of something real.

Severus remembered how exhilarated he used to feel as he mimicked Salazaars' actions, and parroted his beliefs. _'I felt so empowered then._' He said quietly.

Severus walked to another side of the room where bookshelves stood. He inhaled deeply and ran his fingers down the spines of random books. He recognized titles of books that he used to memorize.

"The Noble Line" by Gendra Limni was the one he picked up. He turned over the brown book in his hands and placed it on its' shelf.

"Focusing on Natures' Fluke" by Rintoger Deveil was bound in leather. Severus' mouth fell dry as select lines came back to him.

"Why must we, strong wizards, hide our existence from the world? We are forced to hide in alleyways and mountains; while creatures of darkness inhabit the valleys of plenty! Must we be crushed into crevaces and never feel free? Don't we deserve the right to do and live as we wish!? Or are we mere prisoners, stuck behind bars?"

Severus swallowed hard, as if a dinner roll had been shoved down his throat. He remembered what Deveil urged his readers to do next. He had begged them to 'purge their world of impure heathens, before they drove wizards into extinction.'

_'Hate.'_ He thought. _'It's hate and propaganda. Falsehoods and impurities of truth; rather than that of breeding.'_ He thought as he shook his head.

He saw how easily people could buy into these lies. It was easy, especially in this environment, after all, he had been sucked in too.

He reflected on his so called friends and pondered their futures. "What would have happened to me, if I hadn't broken away from that lifestyle?" He asked himself.

Severus thought of Mulciber and felt a stab of pity. _'He'll end up in Azkaban,…" _He thought. _'He'll never come around.'_

Briefly he thought of Lucius, but he didn't dwell upon him long. He reassured himself that Lucius was too smart to get caught at least.

"And Amaline…" He whispered, and shook his head sadly. "She seems like she could be so much more than a hate-monger."

He exhaled loudly and decided it was time to leave this depressing room. His arms swung at his sides as he moved along the long corridor of the school he loved so dearly.

Severus was feeling very sentimental this morning. _'Maybe it's the impending truth that's waiting for me at days end.' _He considered.

"After all, today I may speak to Lily for the last time…if things go poorly." He said. There was also the realization that he had only five months left at Hogwarts. He was studying to be a healer. If that failed, then he would work for the Ministry- developing new potions.

He had the brains and the grades to get either job. But if he didn't have Lily, the future just seemed dismal.

He had spent a lot of time thinking of Amaline lately, he supposed he felt guilty about manipulating her. _'She isn't really a bad person.'_ He thought. _'And she is pleasant company. For someone, she will make a good wife.'_ Severus stared out a window, and saw Hagrid playing fetch with Fang.

Severus felt even more upset when he saw this. He admired Hagrid and had been his friend once. But, out of shame, he hadn't spoken to the half-giant since he had called Lily a mudblood. He knew how strongly Hagrid felt about people who use that word.

Severus closed his eyes tightly and took several deep breaths. "This isn't how you want to be today, it's not a good condition to be in!" He scolded himself.

He re-opened his eyes and tried to concentrate on remaining confident. He felt sure that he would be able to out-perform Potter in a fair duel, Black as well. "After all…" He said. "…I've got Legilimency… and Metamoura." He patted his pocket fondly.

Hogwarts students had begun to fill the hallways and he knew that the time was approaching to meet Amaline. After that, he just needed to be able to use the new potion. "I'll have about eight hours…" He thought out loud. "After that… my time will be spent."

He didn't feel like eating this morning and instead went to wait for Amaline outside her dormitory. Time seemed to pass slowly for Severus, and he was left with his thoughts.

He thought more on his friend situation. He wasn't sure if he could really call Mulciber and Avery friends anymore…Lilys' words seemed to ring in his ears.

"They're evil Sev…'"

He frowned and cast his eyes to the ground, ashamed, though she wasn't even present.

He started analyzing those he had once confided in, and was surprised by how little he still cared for them. Mulciber was a lost child, who would cling to anyone who would give him attention. He was smart, indeed, but deviant in his endeavors.

Then there was Avery. He seemed so distant these days, he would rarely say anything to anyone but Mulciber and Amaline- even then; it seemed forced.

And Gregory Pritchard! Severus shook his head. "If Lily thought so ill of Mulciber and Avery…what does she think of Pritchard?"

Severus had never before felt the days of childhood friendships breaking so strongly. He recognized adulthood looming aheaed and realized the only three people he really cared about, were Lily Evans, Lucius Malfoy and Amaline Higgs.

He had started crying without realizing it and quickly tried to stop the flow of tears. "Why am I feeling like this!?" He despaired.

He heard people quickly descending the staircase next to him and he dabbed his sleeve across his face. He had dropped his arm just as Amaline came through the archway."Morning, Sev." She said happily. He felt a pang of guilt. He remembered how he had exploded on her, weeks ago, when she had called him that. _'How was she to have known it's what Lily used to call me?'_

"Hi, Amaline." He said bravely. "Sleep well?" He inquired as he got to his feet.

"Oh yeah, it was dreamy." She said sarcastically, and she broke into a smile.

Severus didn't know why this amused him so, but he couldn't help but laugh.

"You laughin' at me?" She said, letting out a scandalized gasp, and she pushed him playfully.

"No, no not you. Just at the word 'dreamy.' Seems like something an artist might say…"

She raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Thanks for the compliment."

He waved his hand. "Come on, let's head over to Hogsmeade. We can have a bite before our…meeting."

She took his hand and he didn't break away. _'I won't ruin her smile, she made me feel better, I'll at least let her enjoy this day.'_ He thought as they walked through the castle and into the grounds.

Professor McGonogall was checking names off a list, and she gave a brief nod, as they passed by her.

It was a fair day, the wind didn't yet carry the chill of winter. Severus kept glancing at Amaline during their trek, wondering how she would feel about him after today.

He cared, to an extent, he realized. But he felt that was he was doing, at least, was going to steer her into a better direction.

He recalled how he had first met Amaline, on September 1st, four years ago. She had just been declared Slyhterin and she seemed afraid. She sat at the open spot next to him at the Slytherin table. She had always spoken kindly to him. They would say 'hi' in passing, then in more recent years, they had actually began to talk more.

He had heard of her accomplishments in magic, and yet, was distressed that she was not passing in potions. He felt that anyone he spoke to in the hallways, should always be able to come to him for help in his favorite class.

He volunteered to help her on a few weekends, and Slughorn was pleased for the assistance. She was a quick learner, once she understood the fundamental concepts. He supposed it was during this time that she had developed this crush on him.

He was again reminded of her age, and was still shocked that she was only a fourth year. Her mind seemed so much older than that.

He felt like he appreciated her more now, especially since she had so willingly agreed to help him today.

_'This is my gift to her.' _He thought, and knew she would one day be grateful.

The tops of the village came into view now, and Severus felt destiny resting upon his shoulders. He had felt depressed nearly all morning, and that began to change as they grew nearer to Hogsmeade. He realized that one way, or another, at the end of the day, he would have truth.

Lily would know where his loyalties rested, would know of his remorse. Things were going to get better, and he felt hope fill him completely.

He squeezed Amalines' hand and smiled down at her. She returned his kind smile and Severus knew nothing would hinder him today. "Amy, our victory is assured. Let come what may."

And together, they walked boldly into Hogsmeade, adventure on the horizon.

**[A/N : I'm hoping everyone is enjoying this, the next chapter will be up as soon as I have time to finish it. I decided to split chapter 8 into two, because otherwise it would be a ridiculously long chapter. As always, reviews are much loved and they're encouraging. Thanks for reading all of it so far. -Towermage. **


	9. Chapter IX: Our Secret World

**[AN: There is the longest chapter thus far, I hope you all enjoy it. There is still a bit more to come in our story of our favorite black haired potions genius. Reviews would be very much appreciated, especially if you notice any weird punctuation marks, example : "she' ll " for some reason when I uploaded this it put like five spaces between any apostrophe's and the next two letters. Also for the elipsis' (plurals?) " ..." 's I mean, they turned out like for some weird technical reason. I've done my best to edit these out. But yes, Enjoy the tale!**

Chapter IX: Our Secret World

The ominous building awaited them at the end of the winding lane. The wind whistled in greeting as Severus and Amaline approached. Nearly rotten fence posts stood as overworked guards, stationed before the ghastly building.

Portions of the building, shingles especially, seemed to have attempted to break away from the Shrieking Shack, as they were barely attatched to the building now. Wooden boards that were strapped across the windows, attempted to hold ghosts and creatures within the house. A crumbling chimney stood bravely, daring to be struck by lightning.

Severus opened the gate and he walked through with Amaline. They came to a stop as they reached the door step of the decrepit building. Severus knew, from experience, that you could get in by one of two ways ; the tunnel under the willow, or apparition.

"Amaline" he whispered to her, focusing on her wide hazel eyes to search his face. "We shall apparate in. Hold on to me tightly." He felt her wrap herself around him, eager for closeness. He set his mind to the inside of the house and felt himself compressing into nothingness.

He knew it had worked before he opened his eyes: for the musty smell had filled is nose. They stood in the hallway, just past the front door. Amaline looked around and Severus felt excitement rush in at him. The floor bore track marks in a thick layer of dust...'_signs of the werewolf'_ Severus thought.

Severus drew his wand and with a flick, uttered "Homenum Revelio." After watching carefully for signs of life he lowered his wand.

Amalines' voice broke the silence. "We're alone, then?" Severus nodded solemnly but said nothing. He grabbed her hand and together they walkd through the dismal place. They passed several rooms, fairly large, but Severus led Amaline down to the cool basement.

Severus nodded as they entered the big room. "This will work, beautifully." He raised his wand and said "Locomotor furniture!" and quickly the chairs and tables fled to the walls, leaving a large space open on the main floor. Severus set about the room, inspecting every bit of space.

"Amaline, could you help me clean up the floor, before our ...guests arrive?"

She nodded and started using "Tergeo" all about the dusty floor. While she was distracted Severus raised his Ash wand and looked at her, with a hint of a tear in his eye. "Goodbye, Amaline Higgs, thank you. Please, escape this madness and live a full, happy life." He whispered and she turned, clearly about to inquire as to what Severus meant.

She looked confused as Severus leveled his wand at her face and spoke loudly, "Imperio!" He felt the familiar sensation of warmth and control as her face became blank. Severus felt grim satisfaction grip him, he held the wand close to Amaline now.

"Amaline Higgs, you shall listen to me now." She nodded vacantly. "You are falling in love with Sirius Black, of the Gryffindor House. You love his laugh and his good nature. He feels the same towards you. You feel no love when thinking of me. You and I dated, but I could not give you the happiness you deserve." She nodded now and her mouth was slack. "Your parents filled your head with Pure-Blood propaganda. You will examine what you KNOW to be true and reshape your life based off your findings. You will try to find more worthy friends, than Slytherins, after you examine your life. When I signal you to do so, stun James Potter and go to Sirius Black, your crush. Once the duel is over today, you mustn't let Potter become revived until Sirius starts to shake his head several times. Then, you will modify your mind, along with James Potters' and Sirius Blacks' . You and Black spent the day at Madame Puddifoots tea shop. He consoled you and asked you out there. Potter went to the Hogs Head and got into a fight, and he will go back to Hogwarts to recover. This is what you must do today."

She nodded and Severus breathed heavily now that the curse was in effect. _'Let's hope Lucius was right about this...' _He thought before scolding himself. _'Lucius has never led me wrong, relax!'_

Severus simply waited now, waited until Potter and Black arrived. Amaline's face was normal looking now, though the curse still had a hold of her.

Severus felt his muscles tighten up as he heard movement in the house, that came from neither he, nor Amaline. Severus walked to the center of the room and motioned for Amaline to join him. Severus once again felt the bottle resting safely in his pocket. He made no effort to signal Potter- they would be discovered in the basement soon enough, after all, there were footprints.

Severus and Amaline didn't have to wait long before James and Sirius came down the stairs, wands already drawn. James was looking smug as he came into the basement. Sirius was looking around in a bored way. "You actually showed Snivvelus!" James exclaimed after he came to a stop before Amaline and Severus.

"James." Severus spoke politely. "We face each other as adults. Let us not think, or act, as children." Severus spoke clearly, rising to his full height.

Sirius whispered to James as he folded his arms defiantly. "Talkin' like a big boy, eh Prongs? Isn't he?" James did not smile, but instead, shook his head.

"He makes a fair request, Padfoot. Let us honour it, after all, we all know whom shall be victorious today."

Severus was almost as visibly shocked as Sirius was. '_Where was the pompous Potter?' _Severus wondered.

Sirius, not looking abashed in the slightest, cleared his throat and clapped his hands together eagerly. "Alright then, the pleasantries should be observed. I take it we're all ready?" Sirius declared as he stared at Amaline, who stared intently at him.

Severus and James nodded, as was expected, and stood in line and faced each other. Sirius was to James' right, and Amaline to Severus'.

Severus' mouth was a bit dry as he stealthily uncorked the Metamoura in his pocket. Severus raised his wand to his face and James mirrored him. Severus sent a thought to Amaline's controlled mind- _'When I jump back, stun Potter!'_

James arced his wand away from his face and it fell to his side. Sirius looked ready to leap as he drew back his own wand. _'Finally alive, it seems.'_ As Black waited eagerly.

Severus, James and Sirius moved to attack formations, and then the world blazed with danger. James, for all his haughty talk, was not as prepared as he claimed, Severus thought happily. That or he hadn't expected a direct attack from Amaline. James sent an orange spell, which Severus easily deflected with a quickly shouted "Protego!" Severus spun into darkness and apparated behind Black.

"Stupefy!" Amaline shouted harshly, causing James to fall helplessly backwards, as the spell hit him in his chest. Severus saw Black turn to attack Amaline, but Severus moved too quickly for him.

Time seemed to slow down as Severus pulled Metamoura from his robes and then Severus heard himself say "Incarcerous!" and watched happily as black robes wrapped all around Black, like a giant snake. Black shouted and cursed at Severus, who merely scowled and screamed "Langlock!" Black spoke no more.

Severus placed a well aimed kick to Blacks' calves and watched as he fell to the ground. Severus went to Potter to make sure he was totally out , pausing to take James' wand as well, before returning to Black. Black had rolled over now and stared up at Severus, eyes full of hatred.

"Oh quit Black. You and I both knew who would win this. You and Potter underestimated Amaline, convinced I would carry her. All due to your overconfidence! And now you've fallen faster than rain." Severus used his feet to knock away Sirius' wand. "You will thank me, Black. Today I give you a gift unworthy of you." Severus took the Metamoura and magicked Blacks' mouth open. His eyes were full of fear now, Severus smiled appreciatively.

"Not fun, eh Black. Being scared?" The gold liquid poured from the vial and Sirius unwillingly swallowed every drop. Severus watched sadly, as Sirius' eyes found Amaline. "Amaline." Severus spoke. "Go to him."

As Amaline rushed to Black, Severus came to stand above James. Severus spoke "Mobilicorpus" and made Potter to stand before him. "Reenervate!"

Potter's eyes opened slowly and he spat at Severus, coming back to consciousness. Severus disregarded this and held up a hand to stop Potter from speaking.

"You and I now, James. Now, we duel." Severus spoke.

"Thought this was supposed to be a fair duel?" James spoke curiously, as he watched Amaline and Sirius.

"What isn't fair? One on one..." Severus said. "And you may also have your wand." He handed James his wand. James looked troubled and sighed as he retrieved his wand from the hands of Severus.

"And them?" James motioned to the seconds.

"It is us now, Potter. I duel you for love." Severus said, circling Potter, eyes now full of fire.

"That's sweet Severus, but my heart belongs to another." James said, laughing at his own humour, and circling Snape, just as Snape circled him.

"I speak and fight for the love that was severed because of your endless taunts!" Severus was sweating now, a dark shadow came across his face, and he bared his teeth – waiting for the chance to strike out.

"Lily?" He laughed derisively and pointed his finger at his opponent. "She finally found a good man and you want to ruin it? I wont have it!"

"A good man!?" Severus spat as he turned a nearby chair to dust, his anger was so strong now that his magic flowed out of him without intention. "Tell me! Would a _good man_ force another man to become a monster?! Do you even realize what I've become since that day at the lake?"

James smirked and Severus felt a fresh wave of fury wrap itself around him.

"Well one thing you haven't become is better looking. I can still remember your awful underpants Snivelpuss! They were so perfect for you, second hand, I daresay! But to hear such dirty words from you, that was inexcusable!"

Severus paled and his curtains of hair fell over his face. "You made me do that POTTER!" Severus screamed, almost hysterical now.

James actually faltered in his pacing and looked at Severus with a frown on his face. "Explain yourself, Snivvly!"

"NO!" Severus flicked his wand and sent a jet of red sparks at Potter, which James deflected with a shielding charm. "You explain, yourself! You basically imperiused me that day! You made me lash out, the hatred that came from you! You made me call Lily a mudblood! It was you! Admit it!" Severus breathed heavily now, feeling the need to hurt James- to procure truth.

"Are you barking?" James shouted, clearly disturbed.

"Depends Potter! Are you a tree? If so I might just hike my like and take a piss up your stump! You obviously see me as nothing more than a dog anyway!"

"You are on something!" James voice shook as he spoke now, continuing to circle Severus.

"Explain yourself! Damn you!" Severus howled, casting "Tarantallalegra" towards James, who stumbled slightly.

"You really do think I'm capable of making a spell to force out hatred? You mistake me with yourself Snape! You're the little spell maker!" James sputtered as he heaved a red jet of light towards Severus.

"You were capable of stealing Lilys' affection! You ruin her! Filling her head with ideas! Well I put a stop to that, didn't I?!" He raged and deflected an oncoming disarming spell.

"You are outside of your mind! I never did anything like that to her!"

"LIES!" Severus reached inside himself and released his anger and cursed James. "Insectivora Infestare!" He cried hoarsely, as the spell arced and hit James on the face.

James' skin rippled and he cried out in revulsion as the insects crawled beneath his skin. "The hell did you do! For the love of Merlin! Stop this you foul bigot bastard!" James scratched at himself, drawing blood, as his skin quickly turned red and purple.

"Why should I! You never once have shown me mercy! You stole the most important person in the world from me! Why have you always hated me so!?"

James was unable to speak as he cried out in pain, his eyes pleading for an end to the curse, which Severus reluctantly removed with a flash of silver light.

"Now! Answer me!"

James collapsed and his hair had become matted to his forehead, by the sweat and blood. He was clearly drained from the nasty curse.

"Fine Snape! You want to know why? You were proud to be in Slytherin! A vile and tainted house! Full of future dark wizards!? What else? You simply exist! You're a foul hooked nosed bastard! You have never deserved Lily! She is a creature that never should have graced your despicable life! Parasite! You are a waste of flesh!" James howled as Sirius and Amaline kissed, oblivious to everything else.

Severus sneered and lowred his wand, and magicked James' away.

"I don't believe you Potter." He tried to speak the hatred he felt inside. James frowned and lunged at Severus, Severus sidestepped him and stared at the beaten Seeker.

"Do you want to know why you hate me Potter? I won't deny you my knowledge of this! After all, you think youself so brilliant! You have perfectly conveyed your reasoning over the last seven years! You hate me because Lily was in love with me! A weak, poor, skinny boy that was a rock in your shoe! I had the attention of a girl who was repulsed by you! You! The rich and powerful James effing Potter! She hated you, was embarrassed by your presence! You were spoiled and you couldn't have what you wanted! She is a trophy to you now! You can never truly value her as a person!" Severus grabbed the neck of Potters robes and pulled him to his feet, savoring the smell of fear dripping off of Potter now.

"Is that not so!?" Snape bellowed as he dropped James to the floor.

Neither Severus, nor James spoke for a long while, and though Severus held his wand at James, he used no spell. James' eyes seemed hollow as Severus stared through him. Severus huffed and stomped his way close to James.

"Get up!" Snape yelled as he kicked James.

James rose quickly, and tried valiantly to throttle Severus.

"NO POTTER!" Severus cried. He drew back his fist, felt the alluring power that resided within, and punched James one glorious time.

James fell heavily and Severus felt victory dispel the previous feelings of guilt and fear. A smile broke on his face and he finally felt free, for the first time in seven years. Snape took one looks at the defeated James and lowered his wand.

"Legilimens!" He said, as a flood of ideas came into his mind- images of lavish dinners, smiling elderly people, and finally ; Lily. Severus discovered that Lily was in Gryffindor tower today, studying for her NEWT's. Severus released himself from the mind of James and came to reality. He took one last look at Amaline and Black, then left the room.

"In a few hours, she'll never think of me again." He said happily, "Lily, here I come."

He raced up the stairs which creaked threateningly as he bounded up them. He felt the usual feel of compressing darkness envelop him as he disapparated out of the building and right outside the gates of Hogwarts.

He stepped through the open gates and his feet couldn't carry him fast enough. _'Lily has been restored! Her mind is clear now! My Clarity spell will have seen to that! James is unconscious! Amaline will take care of me for the time being! Victory is mine now! HAHA!" _He laughed merrily as he made his way around those blocking his path. He nearly tripped over a very disgruntled Professor Flitwick and he shouted apologies as he rushed into the castle.

He leapt up the staircase that led to the seventh floor corridor. He cursed as the staircase he was on swept him off in the direction of the fifth floor. He scowled as some younger students came onto the stairs with him. Mercifully, both for him and the younger students, the stairs next came to rest on the landing of the seventh floor.

Severus ran towards the portrait of the Fat Lady and faltered when he remembered their password policy.  
"Password?" The Fat Lady asked him.

"Umm..." He couldn't think of a time when he felt more stupid. "...Bubo...tuber...puss?" He said, with a half smile on his hopeful face.

"Severus Snape, I wouldn't let you through even if you _did_ know the correct password. Do you take me for a fool?"

"Please, I must speak with Lily!" He pleaded, coming close to her, he felt his eyes start to water. _'To come this close, I can't lose now!'_  
"Miss Evans has expressed no desire to see you." She said and without warning, she swung open and Severus felt elated. He recognized the pudgy boy coming from the common room as Peter Pettigrew, the cowardly friend of James and Sirius.

"Peter!" Snape cried out. "Peter! Fetch Lily for me! It's important!"

Pettigrew looked intimidated and habitually looked over his shoulder. _'He's actually looking for Potter! He's such a fool!'_

"Wh,..wh...why should I? Suh, suh, Snivvy?" Pettigrew stuttered. "You can't make me do anything." Pettigrew said, braver now.

Severus brandished his wand and Pettigrew blanched. "Oh please Severus! I'll go get her, please! ...Don't hurt me!"

"You disgust me! Just go get her!" He bellowed as Peter returned inside.

Severus paced outside the Gryffindor common room- doubting if Pettigrew would return.

"I should never have let him go." Severus yelled at himself as time continued to slowly pass him by. After a quarter of an hour, the portrait swung open , and the miserable form of Pettigrew returned.

He didn't speak, but simply held out his hand, which was clutching a piece of parchment, which Severus grabbed happily. Pettigrew, taking advantage of the silence, retreated to the stairs, and out of view.

Severus unrolled the letter and saw the beautiful script he knew so well.

_Severus,_

_I will meet you, at our spot, give me half an hour. Make sure you do it correctly._

_-Lily_

Severus jumped in the air with joy: she was meeting him! Severus knew right away where he was to go, and he ran along the corridor until he came to the statue of Barnabas the Barmy. The naked wall seemed so normal, but he knew how to reveal it's secret.

"Show me the spot that is special to Lily Evans and myself." He repeated over and over as he paced the corridor. Slowly a dot of steel blossomed on the surface of the naked wall, and within minutes, a door came into existence. The door swung open for him, and Severus stepped inside the torch lit room.

Severus looked along the walls of the room once the door had closed. He saw his finely decorated dress robes resting beside Lilys' emerald green dress. He walked to them and breathed in the scents of the Yule Ball from their fourth year. Butterbeer was present, along with the smell of excitement, and Lilys' perfume.

"I could become intoxicated by the mere fragrance of these clothes." Severus spoke as his voice echoed in the empty room.

It was here that bore so much importance to Severus and his love. Severus remembered that day when he and Lily shared their first kiss. He had asked her to be his that day, she was quick to answer, with a jubilant "Yes!"  
"The Yule Ball." He said , though he sounded far away. It was here that he and Lily came, when the crowds became too much for them. They had pledged undying love in this room, he remembered vividly.

They had come in here laughing, almost giddy from excitement. Severus had his shoes tied together, and they were hung around his shoulder. Lily was carrying her sparkling shoes in her hands. They collapsed on a comfortable couch. Both looked at each other and then broke out into laughter again.

"I swear..." Lily said, clapping in glee. "I think Potter shat himself when he saw us kiss!"

Severus had a big smile on his face as he pulled Lily in for a hug. "Maybe we'll get lucky now, and he'll finally leave us alone." He said hopefully.

"Mmm...now I don't think that could ever happen, but we know now; he has to be so jealous of you!"

"That would..be...possible!" He laughed and rested his head on her shoulder, and breathed in her scent. He was trying to savor this moment, maybe one day he could use it for a Patronus.

"Severus," She spoke softly, running her fingers over his back.

"Mhmm?" he acknowledged dreamily.

"I am, I believe, falling for you." Lily said, lifting his head with her hand, looking deeply into his eyes.

"Lily!" He said, his lips forming a smile. "Lily, do you mean that?"

She looked angelic as a few whisps of red hair fell onto her face.

"With every ounce of life I posess. You have cared for me more than I ever could have thought possible."

He felt himself grow warm and liked how wonderful it felt. His heart lifted up and he felt weightless, as he kissed her.

"I have always loved you Lily. I could no sooner stop loving you, than I could stop breathing."

"Love me always, Severus?" She pushed back his hair, so better to see him.

"Always you, Lily. Always you..."

Severus felt himself become more aware of the door as it opened behind him in the current reality. He felt anxious as the very real and present Lily Evans walked through the doorway.

"Hello, Severus," She said. He felt hopeful, her voice was kind and not at all impatient.

"Hello, Lily." He stepped closer to her, and offered her a chair that had come from nothingness. She took the seat, and he sat close beside her on another chair. "Thank you for coming. I appreciate your time..." He felt so unsure of himself, it was like he was the young boy all over again, spying on her in the playground.

Her smile was understanding, yet she seemed to be guarding herself from him. "Severus, I want to say first of all," She inclined her head and breathed deeply.

"That your assistance was also appreciated , in regards to Sarah Neller. That counter-curse was a step in the right direction." She looked at him and saw the sorrow on her face clearly. "I really miss you, Severus." She spoke bravely.

_'Such words of encouragement!' _He rejoiced, and then his thoughts flooded through him.

"Lily." I wanted to get over my disease, my problem. It isn't healthy, I know this now."

She frowned slightly and spoke carefully, obviously examining every word before she spoke it.

"You have done great evil Severus, how can you atone for your wicked deeds?"

"I've done many things! I've hated myself for what I've done to people! For all that I did to hurt you. But I am making a difference, I am persuading others to explore their ideas of truth!"

"And is it working?"

He felt like he was before the Wizengamot. "A few, really! But it is more than just that. I want to help rid the world of the coming evil! I want to destroy the evil that Slytherin house breeds."

Lily seemed almost scared to speak next, but managed to gracefully.

"What do you mean?" She did seemed scared now. "Do you mean..." She whispered. "Voldemort?"

He nodded vigorously and he was never more aware of the Dark Mark. She walked over and sat down beside him.

"Severus, ...please?"

"I can prove it!" He offered but she placed her hand on his mouth.

"Severus, I don't need proof. It would worry me more if you presented proof. It would worry me until the day I die! But surely you realize how dangerous it is to oppose him. If you are serious about this, why not join the right people?"

"I will Lily, but tell me, you believe me?"

"Of course I do! But Severus, how can you hope to fool him? Occlumency aside, he is gaining power so quickly!"

"I can fool him! I have fooled him!" He stopped dead, for never had his mouth betrayed him so completely. She placed both her hands on her white face, and she shook her head.

"No..." She asked almost pleading. "No Sev,...please no."

His secret was out now, how he hated himself as he drew up his sleeve and exposed the writhing skull and snake, tattooed on his forearm. She threw her arms around him and sobbed loudly, he felt like a monster for making her feel like this. He placed his arms around her awkwardly, as she continued to weep.

"Lily, Lily, it will be alright."

She pulled her head up, and he was shamed by her red, puffy eyes.

"How can you be sure though, God Severus! What made you do it?"

He considered telling her something that would hurt her less, but knew he couldn't. It would be the truth with her; just like it had always been.

"You. Your bravery made me want to destroy the Death Eaters from the inside out."

"Sev," she returned to her old pet name for him. "Severus, they are too great for you to take on your own! Please." She begged. "Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled you are on the opposing side of Voldemort now, but you'll need help!"

He grabbed her hand boldly and began to shake uncontrollably.  
"Will I have you, Lily?" He feared her reply worse than he had Voldemorts', on his night of dedication.

She laughed but it held no joy.

"Of course, I will be fighting alongside you, Sev. I'm grateful beyond words that you've seen reason."

"It is bold,...possibly foolish to ask, but will all be forgiven?"

Her eyes reflected too much understanding, he feared, as she shok her head.

"I cannot forget what you called me, Severus. Hell, we'd been dating for a year. Yet you took your anger out on me, instead of James."

He made the tiniest attempt to speak but she held up her hand.

"But, I will forgive you Severus. I can look in your eyes and see the sincerity. I believe you when you say you've changed...it's everyone else you'll have to convince." Her words burned into his brain and it was a bittersweet victory. She was his friend again, his ally at least, but his work had only just started.

"And earlier, Sev… I didn't dance around your questions true meaning. We can't be together- Voldemort would never..." She grabbed his face and stared into it, her face full of fear and desire, "...ever let you and I live if we were involved Severus. I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and it is _known_ by his side. The fact that we are talking right now can get you killed!  
"When we graduate this spring this is where my life is leading me ; to the Order. But you and I, we can work together. We just cannot _be_ together. I don't know what the future holds for James and I, but you and I cannot be... at least not while Voldemort lives."

Severus felt thunderstruck as her words actually sank in.

"But...you're saying...Lily, you're saying...you mean to say?"

But she said nothing more, she quickly wrapped her arms around him and her lips met his. He kissed her in return and was washed up in the violent waves of deepest love. They breathed and existed as one- all barriers of flesh and status dashed to pieces.

Red and black swirled and boiled in a steaming cauldron of spontaneity and satisfactions. Streams of omniscient consciousness flowed throughout, interrupted by spurts of blissful oblivion, and thoughts of right and wrong slipped away.

In the time following their escape from innocence, Severus found himself holding Lily Evans, tightly in his arms, both resting on a magically provided bed. Severus was certain the day had nearly been spent. Lily stared up at him and smiled, somewhat reluctantly it seemed.

They both decided to get up and redress, neither acknowledging each others grin. They faced each other now and Severus couldn't keep his eyes from hers. How he wanted to ask her now.

"Lily..."

"Yes Sev... assuming we both live, assuming Voldemort does fall...assuming everything turns out well...there is hope for us."

"But how did you know I would ask?" He pleaded, captivated by her shrewdness.

"I seem to remember a certain someone saying a sweet something to me once. You can't hide your feelings from me. Isn't that what was said, all those years ago?"

He couldn't stop a few tears now, he was burning with pleasure. _'She remembers just as vividly as I do!' _He thought joyously. "It is Lily, you know me better than anyone else."

She kissed him finally, once more, and he breathed her in, so that some of her essence might reside within him.

"Severus, until Voldemort falls," She took his hand and kissed it. "Let this be our farewell."

He held himself together and he hugged her and kissed her forehead. " I shall long for that day Lily. And eagerly await the day until I can see your eyes, as clearly as I do now."

Lily gave one last smile to him, before she turned from him and closed the door. Severus felt himself long for her already, it was a physically painful for her to be away from him.

He pressed his fingers to his lips and felt assured. "One day, that's all that matters. One day we'll be together again."

He left the Room of Requirement, joyous that once again, he and Lily were part of a secret world. In the coming darkness both knew they could retreat to that room where they had shared tso much. There would always be the gleam of hope in the eye of the storm.


	10. Chapter X: Petunias' Task

**Chapter X: Petunias' Task**

The sky outside Hogwarts was brightest blue and the temperature was fair. The lines of chairs all held guests, not one empty seat was found. Parents and friends watched proudly as the witches and wizards of the seventh year stood upon a large purple and gold platform.

Excited chatter filled the air on this joyful day of achievement, old friends hugged, while others wept with each other.

The talking ceased instantly as the revered headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, stood to speak. His voice carried out over the guests.

"Welcome!" Albus held out his arms to the guests and then turned to the graduates. "And goodbye!" The crowd laughed and Albus smiled.

"Today, we recognize a truly remarkable group of individuals, who have achieved goals and hopefully, enjoyed doing so! I won't ramble too long, I hear our staff have prepared a delectable feast! But let us acknowledge a few tremendously admirable students!" Albus unrolled a scroll, emblazoned with the Hogwarts crest.

"For extraordinary assistance in the field of potion engineering, I present, Severus Snape this award!"

The faces of the graduates followed the form of the tall Slytherin boy. He walked to his headmaster, with his head held high. He clasped his hand as pictures were taken and returned to his seat with his trophy.

"To Remus Lupin! I present an award for top marks in all his NEWT's, a feat that has not graced our school in many years!" The pale Remus was cheered on loudly by a boisterous James Potter and a wolf whistling Sirius Black. He smiled widely as Albus clapped him on the back, and walked proudly as he returned to his seat.

"To Miss Lily Evans, I present the award for special services to the school, and humanity! For exceptional compassion and kindness!" Lily bounded forward and her face was full of excitement, she placed a light kiss on the bearded cheek of the headmaster and accepted her award.

"Finally, to James Potter and Sirius Black…I extend a most _unique_ award. For your years of trouble making, and all the amusement you brought to this school, I am proud to give you this trophy!"

James and Sirius strutted down the platform and accepted their award together, holding it triumphantly above their heads.

"And now, let us feast and become victims of the befuddlement that our tasty treats offer!"

As the crowds flowed out to all corners of the school, a brown haired, lost looking girl passed through the throngs of people.

Petunia Evans felt lost in the crowd of "weirdos." Occasionally she saw a familiar face. She recognized the frightening Sirius Black as he barbarically gropped and kissed a girl with dirty blonde hair. She hurriedly rushed past them, looking for Snape. A loud wild looking woman with dark hair asked her which was to, at least she heard, Bogsweed?

Petunia rushed off to where her sister was- under a willow tree, and she was talking to that awful boy – James Potter.

She felt so curious, had Snape not been successful?

"Damn him!" She shouted, for she saw that Lily and James were in an intense conversation, as shown by their animated hands, and powerful expressions. She shook her head sadly, knowing Snape had failed, as she saw them kiss.

"Fine Snape!" She said pursing her lips. She didn't anticipate her coming trial, after all : she hated James Potter. But Snape had made a valid point and presented a very good case: he was, at least in the wizarding world, rich.

It was also true, that she was charming, yet most men found her annoying. She would steal James from Lily, at least then she would get some attention from her parents. Maybe then Lily would even appreciate her again, for getting her away from the worst mistake of her young life.

She watched Potter carefully, and found, maybe, it wouldn't be so hard to fall for Potter… after all, his ruffed up hair was cute…

[A/N: So there it is, the final chapter of the twisted saga of Severus Snapes quest to gain the respect and adoration of Lily Evans. I hope you have enjoyed my tale, and I would love your feedback.  
Petunias' Task was used more to wrap up Severus' request that he made in Chapter V. In my eyes, Our Secret World was the true end to the story, this chapter just led us into my future story- where I'll cover the four years seperating graduation until the night of the Potters Death.

Join me for my next tale, as I spin a sultry song of soulful seduction- between young Harry Potter, and Draco Malfoy. Until then, fare thee well!


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